So what I have found out is that people that don't like punk or punk derivatives are the single worst kind of people.
Brooke did not like Taqwacore, a movie about punk and brown people. Prior to today, I thought this had more to do with the brown people and the Islam. Nope. Today he said that The White Stripes sucked.
Needless to say, his opinions have gone from zero validity to negative validity.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
It's Easier If You Do It The Hard Way 2
So today my mother tasked me with hosing off the patio chairs.
They are plastic and like to get dirty when it rains, so I have to hose them off.
At first there were no hoses. My plan was to just plug the pressure washer into the tap and run an extension cord from the outlet. Then use the pressure washer to clean the chairs. My father said that no, it would be a better idea to get the hose out of the garage. Fine, whatever. As I venture to the garage there is a mess of hose sitting on it's little pole where the hoses go. I just grab the topmost hose, since they are different shades of green. It it somehow tied to all of the other hoses.
My father meanders into the garage, he tells me to just grab the one hose. I am trying to. Well open the large garage door and sort them out there.
I am not going to have any more of this hose bullshit, so I just grab all the damned hoses and haul them all out onto the lawn. My plan is simply to plug one female hose end into the tap and then use where ever the water comes out to clean the chairs. Well why would I do that? I'd have to untangle the hoses anyway. I wasn't planning on that, I was just going to put them back how I found them. Apparently I didn't find them tangled and all in a pile.
How the hell would he know? He was not there when I first grabbed the hoses. They were all tangled. Even if he had been the one to put them there, that would mean that he last observed them when he put them away - in winter. Even though the chances aren't too great, some sort of hose tangling hoodlum could have broken in and tangled them.
Mom rushed in and diffused the situation.
They are plastic and like to get dirty when it rains, so I have to hose them off.
At first there were no hoses. My plan was to just plug the pressure washer into the tap and run an extension cord from the outlet. Then use the pressure washer to clean the chairs. My father said that no, it would be a better idea to get the hose out of the garage. Fine, whatever. As I venture to the garage there is a mess of hose sitting on it's little pole where the hoses go. I just grab the topmost hose, since they are different shades of green. It it somehow tied to all of the other hoses.
My father meanders into the garage, he tells me to just grab the one hose. I am trying to. Well open the large garage door and sort them out there.
I am not going to have any more of this hose bullshit, so I just grab all the damned hoses and haul them all out onto the lawn. My plan is simply to plug one female hose end into the tap and then use where ever the water comes out to clean the chairs. Well why would I do that? I'd have to untangle the hoses anyway. I wasn't planning on that, I was just going to put them back how I found them. Apparently I didn't find them tangled and all in a pile.
How the hell would he know? He was not there when I first grabbed the hoses. They were all tangled. Even if he had been the one to put them there, that would mean that he last observed them when he put them away - in winter. Even though the chances aren't too great, some sort of hose tangling hoodlum could have broken in and tangled them.
Mom rushed in and diffused the situation.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Nonsensical Extrapolation
My mother did not finish her dinner tonight.
She had a few ribs left.
She expected a kiss on the cheek in exchange for the ribs. I did not want the ribs - she still expected a kiss.
From a business standpoint, that is just terrible.
Go into a store, see some shoes or whatever for $20. If you buy the shoes, they will charge you $20, if you do no buy the shoes, you should not expect to be charged $20. However, if the store decides to charge you $20 anyway what does that mean?
- 'What the hell, they want $20 for no shoes'?
- 'I am not coming back here'
- 'So those shoes are actually worth nothing?'
I realize that my mother is not a shoe store.
The she tried to guilt trip me 'Is this how I raised you?'. This was hilariously cliche (read: hilarious) so I thought she was joking. Nope.
Basically there are a lot of things about this whole thing that make me angry.
Can't wait to move out eventually.
She had a few ribs left.
She expected a kiss on the cheek in exchange for the ribs. I did not want the ribs - she still expected a kiss.
From a business standpoint, that is just terrible.
Go into a store, see some shoes or whatever for $20. If you buy the shoes, they will charge you $20, if you do no buy the shoes, you should not expect to be charged $20. However, if the store decides to charge you $20 anyway what does that mean?
- 'What the hell, they want $20 for no shoes'?
- 'I am not coming back here'
- 'So those shoes are actually worth nothing?'
I realize that my mother is not a shoe store.
The she tried to guilt trip me 'Is this how I raised you?'. This was hilariously cliche (read: hilarious) so I thought she was joking. Nope.
Basically there are a lot of things about this whole thing that make me angry.
Can't wait to move out eventually.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
The Madness, The Music
So I just remembered another stupid thing that was once said to me.
"Music in the 60s and 70s was good because they knew they didn't need to play fast to sound good."
This is completely untrue. At the time, jazz guys would have been the only one playing fast and they would have sounded bitchin' doing it. It just wasn't until the first Van Halen record that people realized that playing fast can sound really cool. I explained this and got the response of 'Well, you know what I mean'.
Goddamn. Herp derp, I'd know what you meant if you expressed it properly.
For what it's worth, he meant "Music in the 60s and 70s was good because they understood phrasing because they didn't know how to play fast yet." I don't exactly agree, but I suppose there is an argument to be made there.
"Music in the 60s and 70s was good because they knew they didn't need to play fast to sound good."
This is completely untrue. At the time, jazz guys would have been the only one playing fast and they would have sounded bitchin' doing it. It just wasn't until the first Van Halen record that people realized that playing fast can sound really cool. I explained this and got the response of 'Well, you know what I mean'.
Goddamn. Herp derp, I'd know what you meant if you expressed it properly.
For what it's worth, he meant "Music in the 60s and 70s was good because they understood phrasing because they didn't know how to play fast yet." I don't exactly agree, but I suppose there is an argument to be made there.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Dan The Destroyer
Today I was asked what I was doing.
"What does it look like?" I responded. I was very clearly standing on one foot.
"What are you, stupid? You're standing on one foot! But what are you doing?"
"Well what does it look like I'm doing?"
"It looks like you're standing on one foot! How do you do that?". At this point I had determined that this guy was a shithead - well, to my credit, I had determined that he was a shithead before he even said anything, this just removed all doubt.
"It's pretty simple, you just lift one leg up off the ground." He deserved me being a smartass to him, but I think it was lost on him.
"Woah, really?! What are you, an idiot?". As sarcastic as ever; but he had slipped up. Now I would put him into the ground.
"I'm the stupid one, but you didn't know what standing on one foot was?" I gave him the appropriate look.
"Of course I knew what standing on one foot was! [ed. note: Then why did you ask?!] Why are you doing that?" Part of me thinks that this kid wanted a fight. It would have been simple and quick. I would have kicked his knee inward pretty much straight away. I probably would then have stood on one foot and watched him writhe on the ground. If I felt he really deserved it (or I really wanted to go to jail) I would have then jumped on his head and splashed him all over the concrete.
"Why does anyone do anything?"
His (dumbass) friends all looked at me quizzically and shut up.
Later on the bus one of his fat friends asked me why I had mace in my pocket.
"Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it." I replied to him.
"But why would you need it, just fight the guy?" His jowels jiggled.
"What if it's a bear?" I was not going to go at this guy seriously. If it came down to it, I could just ask him why he's fat.
"Why bring it to school then?" He thinks he's got me.
"How many times have you seen a bear in the school that didn't attack anyone?" He looked at me quizzically. He was either native or asian, I could ask that too.
Here he said something incoherent. Perhaps he was eating.
"How many times have you seen someone get attacked when there is bear in the school?" I asked him again. He looked confused and hungry. He turned away and I had won.
"What does it look like?" I responded. I was very clearly standing on one foot.
"What are you, stupid? You're standing on one foot! But what are you doing?"
"Well what does it look like I'm doing?"
"It looks like you're standing on one foot! How do you do that?". At this point I had determined that this guy was a shithead - well, to my credit, I had determined that he was a shithead before he even said anything, this just removed all doubt.
"It's pretty simple, you just lift one leg up off the ground." He deserved me being a smartass to him, but I think it was lost on him.
"Woah, really?! What are you, an idiot?". As sarcastic as ever; but he had slipped up. Now I would put him into the ground.
"I'm the stupid one, but you didn't know what standing on one foot was?" I gave him the appropriate look.
"Of course I knew what standing on one foot was! [ed. note: Then why did you ask?!] Why are you doing that?" Part of me thinks that this kid wanted a fight. It would have been simple and quick. I would have kicked his knee inward pretty much straight away. I probably would then have stood on one foot and watched him writhe on the ground. If I felt he really deserved it (or I really wanted to go to jail) I would have then jumped on his head and splashed him all over the concrete.
"Why does anyone do anything?"
His (dumbass) friends all looked at me quizzically and shut up.
Later on the bus one of his fat friends asked me why I had mace in my pocket.
"Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it." I replied to him.
"But why would you need it, just fight the guy?" His jowels jiggled.
"What if it's a bear?" I was not going to go at this guy seriously. If it came down to it, I could just ask him why he's fat.
"Why bring it to school then?" He thinks he's got me.
"How many times have you seen a bear in the school that didn't attack anyone?" He looked at me quizzically. He was either native or asian, I could ask that too.
Here he said something incoherent. Perhaps he was eating.
"How many times have you seen someone get attacked when there is bear in the school?" I asked him again. He looked confused and hungry. He turned away and I had won.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
What a Tweest
Nevermind what I said about the View the women on Rachel Ray.
Well, except for all of those negative things. I mean, they are wrong most of the time, and they generally are sexist against men, but what I said about the Tiger Woods thing might have been a little far. I'm not saying he should apologize to the mistresses - not necessarily, anyway. I'm just saying that maybe everyone should be apologizing to everyone else.
On the other hand, what I have learned so far is that it is best if the guilty parties agree not to say anything and not to do it again yet. Basically if everyone tried to keep their mouths shut, everything would blow over and the world would be normal again.
Well, except for all of those negative things. I mean, they are wrong most of the time, and they generally are sexist against men, but what I said about the Tiger Woods thing might have been a little far. I'm not saying he should apologize to the mistresses - not necessarily, anyway. I'm just saying that maybe everyone should be apologizing to everyone else.
On the other hand, what I have learned so far is that it is best if the guilty parties agree not to say anything and not to do it again yet. Basically if everyone tried to keep their mouths shut, everything would blow over and the world would be normal again.
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